High rankings on Google can mean only one thing: the opportunity to make more sales and contacts while expanding your business. If this doesn’t sound very attractive to you, don’t worry. We’ve got eight time-tested tips to make sure Google thinks there’s something wrong with you and keeps you far away from the top rankings. And if you’re really lucky, you might even get banned from Google and alleviate all worries about search engine success.
1. Let your interns write your web pages
Google is a big fan of thorough, descriptive, well-written content. But that kind of content can take time and money to create. That’s why you should let your interns write all your web pages and save the money you’d spend on a professional job. Go to the next level by hiring a copywriter from a foreign country for $2 an hour.
2. Keep your site small
Remember, in today’s world less is more. Put up as few pages as possible on your website in order to give Google the impression that you have very little to say and probably wouldn’t be of interest to very many people. Even better, just have a one-page website with zero text and just an image.
3. Never fix or delete broken links
If you’ve actually gone to the trouble to add internal or external links to your web pages and happen to find a few that, for whatever reason, no longer work, don’t worry about it. Keeping broken links on your site is a great way to show Google that you don’t care about your visitors’ experience.
4. Avoid using title tags and SEO descriptions
To ensure bad rankings on Google, make sure to never use page descriptions or title tags in your SEO work (which you shouldn’t even be doing in the first place). If you start telling Google what your pages are all about, it’s sure to backfire. Make things as confusing as possible – make the search engine have to work hard to figure you out.
5. Bypass backlinking
Backlinking shmacklinking! You don’t have time to spend getting your website linked on other websites. Your goal is to be as invisible as possible and show Google that nobody else in the world cares about what you have to say. Google LOVES backlinking, so don’t do it!
6. Use your blog for non-related topics
A blog should be fun, so write about all kinds of fun things that have no relevance to your business. Write about your trip to the Andes, your grandmother’s lumbago, the new bike you bought for your kid, why your wife’s mother can’t lose any weight. Going about it this way will keep your site disjointed, which is a big no-no with search engines. Most important – don’t use WordPress!
7. Better yet, don’t have a blog
But then, why write a blog to begin with? All that fresh content – especially if you make it relevant to your business – will do nothing but draw Google’s attention. That’s the last thing you want. So unless you think you’re some kind of Ernest Hemingway, don’t waste time on a blog.
8. Still better, never make any changes to your site
And finally, whatever you do, NEVER add any kind of new content to your site, blog or otherwise. For some dumb reason, the folks at Google love to see new stuff appearing on websites – it tells them that things are happening that searchers may want to know about. Why would you want people to think anything’s happening with your business? If they got that impression and came to check you out, you might have to stop what you’re doing and sell them something.
Yes, these are some excellent tips for not ranking well in Google in 2015. But in the event you do want to venture into the high ranks with other movers and shakers, CyberOptik has plenty of web design and SEO tips that will help you. And our tips are proven to work. Call (630) 296-6932 or email us and find out how we go about it.
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